Thursday, 22 November 2012

Gingerbread Massacre!

The first thing I thought I would tackle is something I know how to do.  Baking.  Gingerbread tree ornaments to be exact.

But oh no.  It didn't work quite how I had imagined.  No, it was more like a gingerbread massacre.   I'm surprised CNN wasn't providing round the clock coverage....

The plan was to make these lovely gingerbread cookies, thread a ribbon through them (even had a straw at the ready to make the holes!) then ice them and hang them on the tree.    No, I didn't bother to read the bit about making them a few days before Christmas so they are still edible.   Although I'm not entirely retarded, I know that cookies have a shelf life and basically I was giving it a try just to see if it worked out.  

Nonetheless,  I started the making the cookies.  I measured and weighed, rolled out the dough and put it in the fridge for 30mins like the recipe stated.  I got the cookie dough out and quickly cut out several shapes.  Little gingerbread men, snowmen, trees, reindeer and stars.   I placed them on the cookie sheet and popped them into the oven.  Great! I thought.   No problem.   I was feeling a bit Martha Stewart-y at that moment.

10 minutes later....  Cookies come out.    ......



Aaaaaand they are unrecognizable lumps of cookie like things.   @##&%$?(*(

Now what?  I decided to put the second lot in that I had already cut.  Again they came out unrecognizable... BUT!   I had a plan.

 While the cookies were still warm, I got the cutters out and recut all the shapes, including the hole for the ribbon.


Once the cookies cooled and hardened a bit, I simply popped the cookies out of their lumps and wore a smug look for a while.

Unfortunately, a great number of them didn't "pop" out so well.

If you are squeamish about mangled baked goods.... turn away....

 The failures. 

The (short-lived) successes....

After all this work, I tried threading a ribbon through the holes and found out the cookies were entirely too soft to bear their own weight while dangling from a ribbon.   Most of them broke as soon as I tried to hold them up.   It's probably for the best though, I don't know how people would react to Frosty The Snowman with a .44 caliber hole right between the eyes. 

So I ate him.  

Now I'm working on a non-edible version of these for the tree.  Fuck Martha Stewart.  


  1. LOL Leigh you're hilarious.

    I also have the same issue with the gingerbread getting all wrong shaped and soft when baking, or they come out rock hard. I have yet to find the perfect balance :S

  2. I would take rock hard over....soft.... um... er.... that's not what I meant....uh... well.. .it's.. tru..em..uh... well...

    I'm not putting cookies on the tree.